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With Nikki Jackson
Monday, November 27, 2017 3:33 PM

Giving Up On Love

By: Nikki Jackson

You meet. You date. You fall in love. You last for about a year and a half. If you're lucky, maybe 3. You break up. Repeat for the next 10yrs. Does this sound familiar to anyone? If so, no worries. You're just in a very large percentage of men and women that find it easy to give up on love. Now don't get me wrong, no one goes into a relationship or marriage thinking "this won't last". When we love, we think it's meant to be forever, or at least HOPE it's forever. Unfortunately, the other person may not feel the same. Or it may be you that ends up not feeling the same way. Whatever the case, the cycle continues to repeat itself until two people come together and realize that LOVE isn't what keeps a relationship intact. There's so much more to it than that. I used to be one of those people. You know, the kind that looks at everything through rose colored glasses, get all googly eyed when he tells me he loves me. Y'all know the feeling don't act like it's just me. As a young woman that believed in romance and what she read in those sappy novels, imagine my shock when my heart was broken the first time. True enough I was only 17, but in my young mind he was THE ONE. And so begins the cycle. I dated. I loved. He fell short. I fell short. I loved he didn't. He loved I didn't. We both loved but couldn't make it work. After years of the cycle, it's enough to make you give up and say screw this, I'm living the single life from now on! So you live the single life for awhile, and sure there's benefits to it, but it can be lonely at times. So then you decide to give it another go at dating and love and BAM, the cycle repeats itself. So now what? Do you continue or give up on love?
I was having a discussion with some ladies the other day and after going back and forth and debating it we came to one conclusion; we haven't given up on love, we just don't have a lot of faith in it. When you're constantly hit on by married men, live in a world where having a "side piece" is the norm, and the divorce rate is higher than it's ever been, can you really blame someone that's cautious with their heart?
So what happens when you finally give up on love? When you realize you can take it or leave it? It becomes secondary to all of the other things in your life that are just as important. You let go of things like "by 30 I'll be married and have two kids", or "by 60 I'll have been married happily for 30 years". You start thinking, "where will I end up in two years? What kind of job do I want?"
The big things you start wondering about are things you can accomplish on your own. "Where do I want to buy a house?" "Where are all the cool places I can travel?" And you realize that you never needed love to accomplish the things you wanted in your life. You realize that your life doesn't start when you meet your king or queen, nor has it not been fulfilled because you haven't. You live while you can, enjoy what you can, and when they finally come along...well, that's just an added bonus to the amazing life you already have.
~Nikki J~

Catch me every Monday night from 8pm-10pm on The Benet Embry Show. Stream live through my website www.iammsnikki.com.

Follow me on Instagram/Snapchat/Twitter @ libragirl1016. Follow on Facebook @ Nikki Jackson. 

~I speak from failure and experience~