The National Eating Disorder Association reports eating disorders among women of color are on the rise. Research also shows that eating disorders in the African American community are underreported.
Eating disorders occur among many age groups and races, however many fear coming forward. I was the same way, until I realized I needed help.
After my initial weight loss weight from 220 pounds to 120 (now I am a healthy 145 pounds), I became obsessed with keeping the weight off. I was scared about gaining the weight again. I sometimes skimped on calories by not eating breakfast and skipping lunch. My binge and purge (Bulimia Nervosa eating disorder) started one night when I got a craving and I was really hungry. The craving became an intense urge to eat, which led into a binge. I found myself in a trance, not thinking, just eating, nonstop. I knew I could regurgitate the food, so I did. I don’t remember how I learned about purging food, but remembered that people threw up to maintain their weight, probably from watching TV.
I began binging and purging weekly, just twice a week. It then became a daily habit. I would do it nightly when everyone was asleep. I ate until my stomach hurt, until my jaws were tired of chewing. Quietly, I would go the bathroom to purge. I learned how to make the food come up easier by drinking a liquid before throwing up.
Every night, I binged and purged. I was getting away with binging and purging to maintain my weight and using it as an excuse to eat what I was not allowing myself to eat.
I felt a little guilty after binging and purging because I knew what I was doing was wrong; I knew better, but didn’t feel guilty enough to stop. I purged after any meal I felt would make me gain weight. I would even go to the gym and work my butt off trying to burn as many calories as possible.
After one big binge and purge session, I finally had an epiphany, an Oprah light bulb moment and realized that I was totally out of control and needed help. I was confused about exactly why I was doing this to myself. I wanted to talk to someone. I went to my high school nurse to explain what was going on with me. I could have told my mom, also a school nurse, but I didn’t want to tell her right away. I just thought she would be devastated.
That day I saw a therapist and was put on anti-depressants. I went to my sessions and took my pills, but my heart and mind was closed to the treatment. I secretly fell back into my habits. But this time, my parents were on my back making sure I wasn’t going to the bathroom to throw up. When they asked I would lie and get defensive and say “No, I’m over that.”
Obviously I wasn’t.
I continued to binge and purge through my first few years of college because I was still afraid of gaining weight. When I binged and purged I felt disappointed in myself because I continued to destroy my body from the inside, but I was still concerned with maintaining my weight. Finally, I got tired of the cycle, and I wanted to eat normally again and not feel like I had to throw up to maintain my weight.
I vowed never to binge or purge, but to eat a normal healthy diet with moderation. I prayed, read the Bible and filled those tough times with something that encouraged me.
I have not binged or purged in five years. When I have the urge, I tell myself “No, I am better than that” while looking in the mirror. I thank God for His strength. My connection with God got me through many days.
Ladies (and even gentlemen) if you are thinking of ways to maintain your weight or lose weight, do it the healthy way, through healthy diet and exercise. Don’t get caught up with obsessing over your weight. It starts with loving yourself completely. If you don’t love yourself, you will always go crazy trying to be perfect. If you weren’t destined to be America’s Next Top Model, then that body type is not for you, so don’t literally kill yourself trying to reach a goal that is not for you.
Binging, purging, skipping meals or not eating isn’t a method of weight loss or weight maintenance. You think you are controlling your weight, but you lose all sense of reality. Create a strong mind and a strong sense of self to overcome eating disorders. It took me strengthening my relationship with God, discipline and support from family. Most importantly, I had to make the change for myself.
Where to go for help in Dallas
Here are a few suggestions of places that you can go locally if you need help or know of someone who needs help. This list has been compiled from various eating disorders websites and is only to serve as a stepping stone to helping those affected find help. The Dallas Examiner nor the eating disorders websites have screened the listings here and bear no responsibility for inaccurate or incomplete information or the services offered or rendered. We suggest that you thoroughly investigate these programs before using their services.
• Presbyterian Hospital of Dallas Eating Disorders Program
8200 Walnut Hill Road Dallas, Texas 75231
Office: 214-345-7355
• The Walker Wellness Clinic
100 Highland Park Village
Dallas, Texas 75205
214-521-8969
• The Elisa Project
8100 Lomo Alto, Suite 262
Dallas, Texas 75225
214-369-5222
•Stepping Stones Intensive Outpatient Program
7777 Forest Lane, B-142
Dallas, Texas 75230
Office Phone: 972-566-4102
Fax: 972-566-8497
Children’s Medical Center
Psychiatry Department
1935 Motor Street, Bank One, Suite 900
Dallas, Texas 75235
Office Phone: 214-456-8980
Fax: 214-456-5941
www.childrens.com
Abbie Chesney Alexander, MA, LPCI
LifeWorks Counseling
Individual Therapy/Private Practice, Family Therapy, Couples Therapy, Group Therapy, Support Groups, Phone Counseling
2515 Cedar Springs
Dallas, Texas 75201
Office: 214-357-4001
Website: www.lifeworkscounseling.net
For more information and referrals, you may also visit www.nationaleatingdisorders.org or www.edreferral.com.