We are creatures of habit but some habits will ultimately destroy our lives. We find ourselves talking about change, thinking about change but rarely do we take the necessary steps that will bring about a change. Often times change requires that we let go of people we love, loose one sided friendships, and confront issues that have been swept under the rug. Change will cause you to face the truth not just about others but it will challenge what lies within you. But often times many of us would rather stay in unhealthy situations because we have fear of the unknown. So many times the idea of leaving the familiar is more frightening than the reality of staying in the familiar.
You stay because they said, 'you wouldn't make it without them.'
You stay with people who abuse you both verbally and physically.
You continue to have sex with them, thinking this will change the relationship, or maybe they will see how good of a woman you are.
You continue to put up with her drama, thinking that you can save her.
You continue to seek men hoping that maybe one of them will decide to marry you, so you give every man that you date your body because he might be the ONE.
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Many people live in the familiar, leave the familiar and then find themselves returning to the familiar only to die in the familiar. You begin to hear people say, 'why do I keep attracting the same kind of people in my life?' (20, 30, 40, 50 years old still dealing with the same situation) I have come to realize that it is not necessarily the other people but it is indeed you that needs to change. The bible says this:
When an unclean spirit goes out of a man, he goes through dry places, seeking rest; and finding none, he says, 'I will return to my house from which I came. And when he comes, he finds it swept and put in order. Then he goes and takes with him seven other spirits more wicked than himself, and they enter and dwell there; and the last state of that man is worse than the first.' Luke 11:24-26
The above scripture speaks of a familiar spirit that dwells inside of a person. It speaks of a person who has decided to get their lives together but falls back in to the same situation but this time it is worse. Have you ever left someone or made a decision to leave someone and some how they talked or sexed you out of leaving? Have you ever found yourself trying to move forward with your life but the people in your life are holding you back? Why stay in unhealthy relationships with others only to dream of a better day or even a better life.
Unhealthy Relationship with Yourself
People don't necessarily have to have someone saying to them stay, but many of us talk ourselves into staying with this person or in a certain situation. We have a conversation with ourselves to try and justify why we should stay. I am not talking about being with one person and dreaming of being with another person. I am talking about being stuck in a situation where you feel hopeless of getting out. I am talking about being stuck on a job, stuck in the past, stranded in a place of not knowing how you will ever get the life you dream of. What do you do when the dreams of a beautiful life haunts your mind everyday? I was granted the opportunity to teach a group of teenagers and I said to them, 'you're smiling on the outside, but on the inside you are in so much pain.' I told them I could hear their cry for help because they were in situations that they feel like can not change. Just like them many of you are raising children, in a marriage, going to church, single, but dying on the inside, and I can hear you saying, 'can anybody hear me' (in a whisper, almost out of breathe, HELP ME) As I begin to whisper HELP ME tears begin to stream down their faces I thought that it would just be one or two but it was every teen in the room. I asked them are you angry or do you have anxiety. Psychologist call them twins, anger makes you want to fight and anxiety makes you want to take flight (die). They tried to cover up the pain with drugs, sex, alcohol, cutting themselves, and so on. I wonder how are you trying to escape?
You can't see how you're going to come out HELP ME. Feeling like committing suicide, HELP ME; why can't the people close to me see my pain HELP, maybe you are the one that everybody depends on HELP ME. I can hear this deep down in the very depths of my spirit that people are dying and that there is a cry in the wilderness. You are an executive but you're crying for HELP. I told the teenagers this if I never see you again, if I never get another opportunity to speak to you again I am going to take the risk of telling you about the one who can help you and his name is Jesus.
You see I was in a place where you are not allowed to talk about Jesus but I told them I will not allow you to leave this class in this much pain and not tell you about the one who can make away out of no way. I told them that there have been times in my life where the pain was so intense that I had to cry out to the Lord for help. I wonder this article maybe read in places that seem unusual but God loves you so much that He came right where you are. His arms are open wide, you can't change people but you can change yourself. Today Jesus heard your cry for HELP. Give it to Jesus.
Beautifully Speaking,
Sonya
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sonya@wherebeautyisdefined.com