Monday, August 20, 2012
Secret Lover: Signs He May Be Hiding Something From YouBy: Madame Noire
Women usually have a sixth sense when it comes to men and relationships – an uncanny ability to tell when something isn’t quite right, even if she can’t put her finger on it. While some women need a full-out confession when it comes to indiscretions, others use their innate ability to discern if a man may be hiding something from her. The trick though, is being able to tell the difference between a gut feeling, and paranoia. When we’re smitten – or insecure – our radar can be a bit off. Love is blind…deaf…and dumb sometimes, so if you’re not sure if your man (or woman) is guilty of or hiding something, keep your eyes and ears open for these clues.
1. He Acts Guilty
If a person acts guilty, he or she usually is. If you ask him a simple question like, “How was your day?” and he responds in a defensive or nervous manner, chances are he feels guilty about something and is having a hard time physically masking it. He may even behave in a guilty fashion if you do something nice for him that is unexpected, because he may feel like it’s a trick or a trap. While a person can SAY anything, his body language may give more clues that he might be guilty of hiding something. If he starts sweating, fidgeting or suddenly just seems jumpy for no reason, his guilty conscience is projecting itself, and you’ll be able to see it.
2. He Gives Too Many Details
If you ask your man where he’s been and he gives you a detailed account of his evening, down to the style of shoes the bartender was wearing, it may seem like he’s telling the truth right? Wrong. Most people don’t pay that close attention to minute details, so if he’s offering you up insignificant, but elaborate descriptions – like the color of the bathroom walls at the club – then he may be trying too hard to cover his behind. If you ask a simple question, but get a detailed answer when a simple yes or no will do, take heed. He’s making up stuff as he goes along to make his story seem more believable when the truth should suffice.
3. He Limits His Responses
Just like a person can give too much information when telling a lie, a person who is keeping something from you can give too LITTLE information as well. If your partner gives you one word answers, or limits his responses in conversation, it’s usually because he’s afraid to tell on himself or get caught in a lie. He figures the more he talks, the deeper the grave he’ll dig for himself, so he keeps his comments or answers to a minimum. If getting him to talk about a certain subject seems like pulling teeth, it’s probably because he wants to keep something under wraps, and you in the dark.
4. His Story Keeps Changing
If you suspect that your man has lied to you – even though he has given you a detailed story or answer to your question and he’s sticking to it – ask him the same question a week or a month later and see if his account is the same. Most people have to work hard at remembering a lie, while the truth carries the same story every single time. But this means that you ALSO have to have a good memory so that you can pinpoint inaccuracies or discrepancies when his version of the truth changes.
5. He Makes You Feel Guilty for Asking a Question
Asking your man where he’s going or who he’s going out with may seem like normal, natural questions to you. But if he takes offense and is indignant at what he perceives to be “probing” questions, it may be because he’s guilty of being somewhere or with someone he shouldn’t be. If he attacks you for “checking up on him” or makes you feel bad about asking him about ANYTHING, chances are his conscience is catching up with him and causing him to lash out at you.
6. Answers a Question With a Question – If He Answers At All
Most people who answer a question with a question are usually stalling, trying to think of a lie while you’re busying answering THEIR question. Or he may be trying to deflect the subject back onto you, or shift the conversation away from a touchy subject. However, if he refuses to answer a direct question at all, it’s probably because he can’t think of a lie fast enough, so he simply won’t answer. When a person is being forthcoming and truthful, he won’t feel the need to refuse to answer a question, and the answer will be immediate. But if your partner feels that you are not entitled to an answer, there should be no doubt that something shady is going on.
7. He Seems More Secretive
He used to pee with the bathroom door open, now he takes his phone with him to take a shower and closes (and locks) the door. The ringer on his phone is always on vibrate, he turns his phone off at certain hours, and when he’s on the phone, he speaks in a low tone or hangs up when you enter the room. Most couples want to share everything when they’re happy in love – nothing is off-limits. But if one of them is hiding something, they try to create distance. If he is suddenly overprotective of his privacy when he used to be an open book, that usually means there is something he wants to keep hidden from you. When it reaches this point, it doesn’t matter what that something is – just run!
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