Have you ever found yourself falling for a guy, but felt something was a little off with your budding relationship? You can never seem to get much of his time, he’s always busy, and when you call him, he’s always visiting that mother of his at bizarre hours (at least that’s what he’d like you to believe). Seriously, come on! Visiting mom at midnight, every other night, with no apparent sign of a medical emergency—there’s clearly something not right here. Girlfriend, I hate to break it to you, but you might just be the other woman.
Of course you may not have knowingly put yourself in such a situation, but often times we see the telltale signs and overlook them. A yield sign, or red flag, will pop up right in our faces and we’ll ignore it and go full speed ahead without any caution or concern. We see the hiding, scheming, and manipulating and we turn our heads because we’re happy we’ve managed to snag ourselves a man. Well I’m here to tell you, despite the numerous “No I don’t have a girlfriend,” “Nah, I’m not married,” and “Oh her? She’s just my best friend” you hear, the signs are pointing to “your” man belonging to someone else.
Hey, if you don’t mind sharing a man, (not sure why any woman would in this day and AIDS, I mean age), then continue to turn a blind eye. But if you know you deserve more than a half-ass so-called relationship built on suspicion, then acknowledge the blaring signs. And just to keep you covered and aware, here are a 10 signs that you just might be the other woman.
1. He’s adamant that you guys don’t correspond via social media.
While we may all feel that a healthy relationship doesn’t need to be intertwined with social media, there’s something strange and distrusting about someone who’s relentless about not having any social media ties. And if he freaks out about you posting a picture of the two of you on Facebook or Instagram, his followers just may include a girlfriend, and I’m not talking about you.2. Turns his phone off whenever he’s with you.
Who actually turns their phone off these days? NO ONE! So when his phone is off every time he is with you, it’s a clear sign that he doesn’t want someone calling to ask his whereabouts. Don’t fall for the “I want to concentrate solely on you” trick. Your side-eye should be leering at him at this point, especially when you see him turn it back on as he’s leaving you.3. Refuses to answer multiple phone calls in succession.
He’s trying to avoid someone. If this happens each time you are with him, this should raise major suspicion that someone else he spends a lot of time with is trying to track him down.4. You don’t know where he lives and have never seen his place.
This is major. If you are dating a guy, regardless if he lives alone, with a roommate, or still with his parents, you should at least know where the man lives. How is it that he knows where you live and is welcomed to your house? Hmmm … Something clearly isn’t right. Either he lives with a woman he’s seeing, or his roommate and/or family knows that he has a girlfriend/wife.5. You have never met his family and/or friends.
You hear these funny stories of his family and friends constantly, but you have yet to meet any of them. But on the flip-side, your BFF, mother, and co-worker have all met him. Again, he’s hiding something. It could be he is truly embarrassed by his family. Remember Laz Alonso’s character in Jumping the Broom? But at the very least you should be able to meet his friends.6. Only takes you out of town for dates.
Why can’t you guys hang out at the coffee shop down the block? Perhaps he’s afraid of running into his girlfriend/wife or family/friends. How would he explain who you are? So to keep everything simple, he goes way far for your dates.
7. You only see him during odd hours.
Spontaneity is good—fun even. But when you only find yourself spending time with this guy during lunch breaks or extremely late at night, it’s a sign that he’s just fitting you in where he can, so he doesn’t get caught or the outing doesn’t conflict with times when he’s with someone else.8. He won’t make plans ahead of time.
Everything is impromptu. Again, being spontaneous is great, but when you can never plan a real date with him because he doesn’t want to commit a day/time for you should “something else” — like his girlfriend/wife — come up, then eyebrows should be raised.9. He’s always busy.
We’re all busy trying to conquer the world. But when a guy simply refuses to make time for you because he’s “busy” and you have yet to find out what he’s busy doing, chances are he’s getting busy with someone else, or is a drug dealer. Either way, run!10. You know he lives alone, but he takes you to hotels, motels, and Holiday Inns.
Clearly this needs no explanation. Sheets need to be changed after sex and he doesn’t want to worry about anyone questioning him about the frequency. At this point, if you haven’t figured it out, you might just be clueless.